my toes in the water, a cold drink in my hand...

So this was a wonderful weekend. My family went to Gulf Shores for the weekend, it was so much fun. We went browsing through the Shrimp Festival, they had some amazing arts and crafts stuff. I had a lot of fun walking through and looking at everything, I wish I had some money to actually buy some of the cool stuff I saw there. Other than that, it was a lot of chilling on the beach...well, more on the balcony than the beach, and even doing a little bit of studying. It was really nice to have time with my family, I miss being around them and not stressed out. And tomorrow I'm taking my wonderful friends to the state fair for the first time. I didn't get to go last year, so I've really excited and so are they, I think. Funnel cake, fun rides, it's going to be a good night. :)

Now it's back to studying for me, have a good night out there in internet land.

Friday night before test week...

And I'm sitting on the couch with one of the most amazing friends I've ever made listening to sappy music and looking at wedding dresses. Am I crazy? Maybe, but it's the kind of craziness that keeps me sane these days. Sometimes I just need a moment to step back from the all-consuming black hole that is M2 year and be reminded of what really matters in my life. It's nights like this that remind me of just how lucky I am. I have the most amazing parents a girl good ask for - they raised me to have good manners, a head that's screwed on straight, and what in today's society would probably be unrealistic and idealistic ideas about what love and marriage are supposed to be like. But I'm ok with that. The older I get, the more I start to realize just how much my sister means to me too... Maybe she isn't just the annoying pain in the ass I used to think she was. I have wonderful cousins (of all ages) that I couldn't imagine my life without. In the friend department, I have been blessed more times than I can count. Some of them I've known since birth, some from elementary/high school, and others have just recently come into my life... But they all have a very special place in my heart. It's funny how God can lead us to places or people in our lives that completely reshape our worlds. I have problems remembering to "let go and let God"... Thankfully there are times that He basically slaps me upside the head and forces me to see things His way. Those are usually the moments that lead to my entire world changing... times where somebody walks into my life that changes it so totally and completely that I simply couldn't go back to being the person I was before that moment happened.

Sometimes I think I'm crazy for falling for a Marine. Sometimes I think I'm just asking for trouble for getting into this long-distance thing, especially with med school. Most especially with this deployment business. But then I see him, I hear his voice on the phone, I get a text or an email from him right when I need it the most, and I remember why I'm doing this. I remember why I fell for him in the first place, why I know that he's the one I will spend the rest of my life with. It's because at that moment, I was smart enough to let go and let God... and God gave me him.

med school...fun?

I guess it's time for an update...

Life has felt a little bit like a slow whirlwind. Does that even make sense? It's like time is crawling by, but then I turn around and think "it's already been 3 weeks!?". School is going well, I think. There's been a few freakout-worthy moments, but they pass. And when I go back to look at that material again, I start to wonder why it had me so freaked to begin with. I'm still excited about this year, even when it's scary. That four-letter word that's coming up next summer (STEP 1) is very scary, but I think I will be able to handle it when the time comes.

In other news, I have the best friends in the world. They keep me from going crazy. We had a girls night with my Momma last week, painting at Easely Amused. I'm always amazed at how my paintings turn out from there when I have so little artistic talent. I also have a very busy weekend planned, I'm going to my future nephew's birthday party Saturday, then have tickets for the symphony that night. I'm hoping I'll still go to it, I think it would be fun to have a grown-ups night out.

Now if only I can make it to Christmas...

new year, new me

It's been a while since I updated, and and a lot has happened. I finished my month in the ER, and I already can't wait to get back in there. I think I've found my calling, and it feels so good. :)  I also had a little bit of time to do nothing, which was fabulous. It was my last chance to have some freedom, my final summer break. I went to Universal Studios, checked out the Harry Potter park (yes I am that kind of dork), and then I had 14 days of nothingness. Glorious, enjoyable, wonderful nothingness.

In other news, school starts Monday. Yay for M2 year... not quite sure if that is real or sarcasm. All I know is that I only have one more year until I get to work full time with patients, and I absolutely CAN NOT WAIT. This is my calling, my love, my purpose in life. And this next year, I'll actually be learning stuff that matters. I'm both terrified and oh so excited about starting classes.

Now I'm going to finish this Grey's Anatomy marathon with my "Meredith"... she's my person :)

trauma, trauma, trauma

I witnessed my first code tonight. It was intense, and it didn't end well. Of course, it wasn't sounding good from the get go... MVC with prolonged extraction and a BP in the 60s on scene... but then to see the stretcher coming down from the heli-pad with a nurse already straddling the patient and doing chest compressions? Yeah, not good. It was kind of cool though, from an observer's perspective, to see the way everyone came together in that room. I've seen several traumas now, with the ER docs, trauma surgeons, and nurses all doing their thing to get the patient stabilized, but this was different. This was everybody doing everything they could all for the exact same goal, to get that heart to start beating again. Unfortunately, it didn't happen. After about 15 minutes (plus another 10 before they landed), they called it. Almost anticlimatic actually, after everything that had been going on before that. So there you have it, my first code and my first witnessed death... what a way to start the night.

In other news, I think I'm finally getting comfortable and confident in the ER. I had my first suturing experience yesterday, and although it didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped it would, I still did it. And tonight I attempted to get an arterial line in a patient. I almost had it too! Hit the artery relatively easily, but the stupid wire wouldn't thread. I felt a little bummed, but it helped when the resident couldn't get one either. I also watched a fellow student intubate a patient. That's next on my list. I just wish it wasn't almost my last week already! I foresee a lot of "free time" trips back down there in the future.

random thoughts from my brain at 1AM...

I think I did the math right... If not, forgive me. It's been a long day.

52.5 - hours since he last called me.
190 - roughly the number of days until I get to see him again.
540 - days til he gets out and moves home for good.
912 - hours of summer left before M2 hell begins.
58 - months until I get my M.D.
333 - days of med school behind me already.
Now it's time for this tired ER student to get to sleep. Love y'all!

what a week!

I've been working night shifts in the ER for a week, and I love it! Working the 4th of July let me see some CRAZY stuff... It's settled down a bit since then, but still some crazy/fun stuff to see and do. The residents are awesome though, and really helpful about teaching me stuff. I'm hoping I can start doing procedures soon!